You really helped me take control of my own pregnancy and labour.

My waters broke early, at 37 weeks at 5am, contractions were really light until about 5pm and I put the TENS machine on when they started to ramp up. Nancy was on the phone to Karl as I laboured, guiding him to help me manage each contraction, and she came over at about 4.30am. After sitting on the toilet through a few contractions I felt baby drop and knew it was time to go to the hospital at about 5.30am. My contractions sped up in the car, and by the time I got to the hospital they were very intense, but we still walked all the way to the birth unit (where I threw up all over the hallway). I got straight into our birthing suite and had a very strong contraction as I was getting into the bath, and was worried the baby would come right there, But I made it in, and started pushing, completely unguided, my baby River was born in the water at 6.44am after what felt like about 3 pushes.

I came into this pregnancy with lingering trauma from my first birth. Too much intervention and not enough knowledge left me feeling disempowered, with really negative thoughts about birth and postpartum.

Through my pregnancy, Nancy gave me the tools to understand why I was feeling like I was, and allowed me the space to let go of my past trauma. In our sessions she helped me build the confidence to have a strong birth plan, as well as giving myself permission to practice some much needed self care in the lead up to my birth.

As I was labouring, Nancy provided really critical support to my husband. Thanks to her coaching, he was able to calm me down when my waters broke early, avoiding an unnecessary trip to hospital. Nancy was communicating with him via text and phone throughout the labour, and he was in turn able to provide me with the best support possible. When she did arrive in person, she knew exactly where I was up to, and what I needed to do to get the baby into the right spot. When we got to the hospital she spoke to the hospital staff so Karl could support me, and guided both of us to the birthing suite, supporting me through each contraction.

As I got into the birthing bath and began to push, she was with me all the way, and was communicating with the midwife so neither me nor Karl needed to be concerned with anything other than the birth of our child.

After he was born, Nancy stayed with us, helping me manage communication with the hospital staff and making sure my birth needs were met - including a natural 3rd stage and delayed cord clamping. Postpartum she helped us navigate breastfeeding and managing having a toddler and a newborn at home. She also helped with my toddlers sleep patterns which started to take a turn after River was born, and helped us to manage the transition.

Having her there to debrief really completed what was a cathartic, healing pregnancy and birth experience, and allowed me once again to believe in myself and the strength of my body to create and birth two healthy, happy children.

Nancy did so much for us. We hired her to help us with the birth but we got so much more out of the experience and it has bought us closer as a couple than we ever thought it would.

WHAT IS THE MOST MEMORABLE MOMENT OF OUR TIME TOGETHER?

One main thing you kept telling me was the fear/tension/pain cycle, and this helped me relax as I had to actively think about releasing the tension so I would feel less pain. It kind of acted like a mantra for me as my contractions became more intense.

You also made me ask “why” whenever something was presented to me, and that really helped me take control of my own pregnancy and labour.

CAN YOU EXPLAIN TO OTHER FAMILIES WHAT THE MOST HELPFUL PART OF THE DOULA SUPPORT WAS FOR YOU?:

It was more your presence during those critical times. During the labour at home when you arrived, your presence was calming for me. Particularly when I was feeling exhausted, but you knew it was my endorphins kicking in, you said “you’re not tired, you’re just really high, which means your baby is so close!” It gave me the strength to keep going.

You helped me make the hard decisions which would help me in the long run for example, although I hated it at the time, you didn’t accept the wheelchair to go up to the birthing unit, but rather held my hand and walked with me. It was painful but it was what I needed to get the baby to the right position so that when I hit the bath water all I needed to do was push.

ENOUGH ABOUT ME! TELL THE MUMMAS WHAT THE MOST HELPFUL THINGS WERE TO YOU IN LABOUR?:

• TENS machine was a life saver. I actually don’t know how I got through my first labour without it!

• Having a mantra really helped, mine was “open mouth, open cervix” so I remembered not to clench my jaw, it really helped me to remove a lot of the tension.

• Creating the right environment. I used candles with a scent that I loved, and kept everything dark and moody with a good playlist to boot, it really helped to calm me down and get the oxytocin flowing.

WANT TO TELL US ABOUT MASSAGE?

I got several massages from Nancy and they helped so much, from relaxation and tension reduction in the early days (and the chance to catch up/ask questions/vent), to moving fluid around in the last weeks, it helped so much. My husband and I also did the Pregnancy Relaxation Massage for Couples Workshop with Nancy which has been incredible because Karl can now give me better and more effective massages if I’m feeling tight or exhausted after looking after the kids. Would definitely highly recommend!

WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE TO SHARE WITH OTHER FAMILIES ON THIS PATH?

Trust your body. It knows what to do. If you relax and lean into the process instead of trying to manage it you will have a much smoother ride with a better outcome. Also, time has no place in labour and birth. It will take as long time to as it takes, and timing things and looking at the clock makes it much more stressful!

IS THERE ANYONE ELSE THAT WAS AWESOME TO YOU DURING YOUR JOURNEY?

There was an incredible doctor at Wollongong Hospital who stitched me up, I can’t remember her name but she referred to herself as the “hippy doctor.” She asked my consent before doing anything and gave me the full run down of the pros and cons of what was happening so as I was fully aware of what I was consenting to. She was really incredible and made me feel safe and supported in a pretty vulnerable situation.

Karl says:

Having a doula definitely helped during labour as Nancy was able to answer all my questions and I was able to give feedback on Colette’s progress. This communication freed up Colette’s mind and she was able to concentrate/focus on her body which resulted in a smooth delivery. The massage workshop was an added bonus as we continue to use these techniques now.

Love Colette, Karl and Baby River