An experienced support person that knew me, my preferences, my history and would advocate for me as I would for myself.
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After a breech elective c-section and a lifetime of traumatic surgery, I was desperate for a supportive and empowered VBAC. Nancy believed in my dream as much as I did. When the going got tough and my confidence waivered, she still believed in me. Surrounded by a supportive birthing team and with the knowledge that they wanted me to succeed, I lived my dream. A healing, empowered VBAC to meet my baby boy.
IMAGINE I WASN'T THERE. TELL ME ALL ABOUT HOW I HELPED YOU AND HOW IT HAS MADE A DIFFERENCE. :
The most important thing for me was knowing that there was an experienced support person that knew me, my preferences, my history and would advocate for me as I would for myself. You did all of that and more.
Even though I knew you may not be in town for Ronan's birth, I trusted wholeheartedly that you would find me a doula that could meet these needs (and you did!) I was blown away by your deep knowledge about each of the things that popped up during my pregnancy and labour and by your clear-headed approach to navigating the birthing system I chose (and the challenges that come from working within that system). Each time we hit a road bump or a road block, I knew that there was someone in our corner who would provide us with personalised support and advice, unincentivised by anything other than helping us to figure things out.
I never doubted for a second that we had the right person to support us through this journey (and the comfort of that knowledge may have been even more important than the practical experience itself).
Adam’s thoughts:
Adam found it helpful that you showed him how to use hands on techniques, particularly the rebozo which we used at home in early labour. He also found comfort in knowing that there was a second person supporting me and that it wasn't solely on his shoulders. He said he was impressed by you lining up Alyssa to support us on the day and that he felt you had made a concerted effort to find the right person to do that for us.
YOUR MEMORABLE MOMENT OF OUR TIME TOGETHER?
I cannot express enough gratitude for your practical and emotional support as we navigated the GDM testing challenges. Although I felt the GDM results were inaccurate and I wanted to make sure we had a true diagnosis, I felt defeated. I sobbed in my obstetrician's office that my VBAC dream was dead. But you still believed in me. You reminded me to believe in myself. When I couldn't take the practical steps needed to move forward, you took them for me. You went above and beyond to arrange a new test for me, and I truly believe this pivotal moment changed the course of my pregnancy and led me to the birth experience I had hoped for. I will never forget it.
THE MOST HELPFUL THING I DID TO SUPPORT YOU?
I pride myself on being deeply informed and yet, everything I discovered or questioned - you had deep knowledge about it that I could tap into.
Spinning babies, check.
GDM testing, how cortisol and glucose interact as you get up in the morning, check.
Rebozo, check.
How to think about decision making around public and private hospitals when attempting VBAC, check.
VBAC statistics, check.
Induction methods and their impact on physiological birth, check.
I could go on.
I also felt that, not only did you have subject matter expertise, you deeply understood me, us as a couple and our goals, and you were able to tailor that practical information in a way that helped us to make decisions that reflected our goals.
ENOUGH ABOUT ME! TELL THE MUMMAS WHAT THE MOST HELPFUL THINGS WERE TO YOU IN LABOUR?:
TENS machine, absolutely!
I had hypnobirthing tracks that I had listened to during pregnancy and listened to at home in early labour. Alyssa asked Adam if I had a playlist and actually put it through the sound system at the hospital too, which we hadn't thought about and was wonderful (and thanks to you, Adam knew exactly how to get into my phone, into the app and find those tracks!)
I sat on the toilet for a bit at home with my feet on some yoga blocks, which I liked.
Used a scarf for some rebozo at home and a yoga ball to rotate my hips around.
I had some essential oil that I rubbed in my palms and smelled (I had been putting some in my baths during pregnancy too so it was a familiar, relaxing smell.
Alyssa did a great job during labour and I'm so thankful you found her for us. One thing I felt like you might have done differently (and possibly this was, in part, because labour was my first time meeting her in person!) was that you may have been a little more forceful (in the best way) in encouraging me to push myself to move around/try some of the spinning babies moves towards the end. Alyssa suggested it but I couldn't even entertain the idea and she backed off straight away. I feel like you might have pushed me a little to do it (and in retrospect, I would have appreciated that).
HOW DID YOU FIND ME?
You were recommended in the VBAC Australia and VBAC South Coast/Illawarra Facebook groups. I chose you because I wanted someone who was well informed and a strong advocate. I wasn't looking necessarily for emotional support, but more a person that I knew I could rely upon to champion my preferences in circumstances where I knew I may not be able to do that myself. Knowing you were there and that I had a great support team in place allowed me to relax and trust that I would be taken care of.
WORDS OF WISDOM FOR THE FAMILIES READING:
Growing your family is an emotional, overwhelming and intense, love-filled experience. Feeling all the feelings is part of the journey and every journey is unique. Each time we've had a baby, I have cherished the people who helped us navigate each roadbump, cheered with us when we felt joy and created space for us to adjust to our new normal when our little love arrived. Gather your support team and buckle up for a wonderful adventure!
WOULD YOU LIKE TO RAVE ABOUT ANY PRACTITIONERS/WEBSITES/PODCASTS/GROUPS YOU USED DURING YOUR PREGNANCY OR POSTPARTUM TO OTHER FAMILIES?:
Dr Steven Thou, my wonderful OB, and Dr Daniela Susic, my wonderful back-up OB who I felt equally supported by.
Julie at Kirrawee Natural Care Clinic.
Acupuncture at The Dao Health Clinic (Caringbah, though I believe they've moved to Burraneer).
Spinning babies daily exercises.
VBAC Australia Facebook group.
Nancy Anderson Ab Rehab for postpartum recovery breathing exercises.
BONUS
This is the list of recommendations I keep and share with friends:
THINGS I LOVED
(There are other things we have that I didn't love or am lukewarm about, like SRC compression shorts, our baby monitors and our travel cot. Anything I didn't absolutely love doesn't make this list.)
Pregnancy
- Align tights (Lululemon)
- Bae the label
- Belly bandit support belt https://bellybandit.com.au/collections/maternity/products/upsie-belly?variant=3053456195624
- Compression socks
- Pregnancy pillow https://www.smilobaby.com/products/nursing/pregnancy-and-nursing-pillow
Labour preparation
- Spinning babies daily essentials exercises
https://www.spinningbabies.com/
- Chiro and acupuncture
- Epi-no (this I am lukewarm on but I do think it made a difference)
- Hot Mama tea - The final push
Birth
- Doula
- Tens machine https://blissbirth.com.au/
- Bimby and Roy underwear
- Calm birth school hypnobirthing mediations
Postpartum
- Period underwear a few sizes up from your normal (I did Modibodi, https://www.modibodi.com/collections/french-cut, nicer than disposable mesh undies but doesn't matter if they get bloody)
- Tom Organic Maternity pads (softer than the other brands)
- Medela hydrogel pads https://www.medela.com/breastfeeding/products/breast-care/hydrogel-pads
- Hotmilk Lingerie (nursing bras)
- Peri bottle (for vaginal delivery)
- Peri ice packs can use in underwear for vaginal delivery or on scar for C section (or make padsicles for vaginal delivery - Google it) I liked these ones - https://www.amazon.com.au/dp/B07Z99RMTN?ref=ppx_pop_mob_ap_share
- Bra heat pads (for engorgement)
- Nancy Anderson's ab rehab
Videos
- Breastfeeding how-to (these were the instructions I found helpful and used with both babies - https://youtu.be/rbbsPjg8Y5I)
- Jess Hover Baby 101 videos
Baby gear
- Snoo
- Dock-a-tot
- Carrier (I prefer the Boppy especially for sub-5 months, Adam prefers the Tula). Carriers are worth trying on because they fit differently on different body shapes. https://www.boppy.com/products/boppy-comfyfit-baby-carrier
- https://babytula.com.au/
- Pram (again, try them out. We went Joolz Hub for the single and the Valco Snap Duo for the double)
- Velcro swaddles and knotted gowns
- Highly recommend a rubber changing pad for easy wipe down
Hospital bag
- Period underwear a few sizes up from your normal (I did Modibodi, https://www.modibodi.com/collections/french-cut, nicer than disposable mesh undies but doesn't matter if they get bloody)
- Tom Organic Maternity pads (softer than the other brands)
- Medela hydrogel pads https://www.medela.com/breastfeeding/products/breast-care/hydrogel-pads
- Comfortable nursing bras (I'd suggest the soft pull aside ones for the first week - https://www.amazon.com.au/dp/B0813BXPBG/ref=cm_sw_r_apan_glt_fabc_1ZQJMH5TJER6R806BK9X) / breastfeeding friendly PJs (or robe - some new mums prefer that with nothing underneath) if planning to breastfeed
- Peri bottle (for vaginal delivery)
- nappies, wipes, vasoline (for the meconium - easier nappy clean up)
- clothes for you/baby to wear home
-lip balm
- sleep mask
- water bottle
- travel toothbrush/paste kit, deodorant, hairband etc.
- any regular medications
- thongs/slippers
- stool softener
- phone charger (long cord since the PowerPoint might be far away)
- snacks
Love Steph, Adam, Asher and Ronan